I used to be pretty skeptical about coaching.
(You’ll learn this about me – I’m pretty skeptical of a lot of things at first. As a former data analyst, please don’t be offended if I ask you for your information source before I’ll believe something you say that sounds a bit too good to be true.)
I was skeptical about coaching because it isn’t regulated in the same way that therapy is. To become a therapist in many parts of the world, you need to go through multiple years of rigorous training and pass an exam to obtain a license to practice. Coaching, on the other hand, isn’t regulated in the same way. You could wake up tomorrow, decide you want to be “Coach [insert your name here]”, start an Instagram account, and open for business.
That kind of thing makes me skeptical. I want to know that the person promising to help me is properly trained, backed by tried and proven methodologies, and not just making sh*t up.
Then, about a year ago, I went on a yoga retreat. At the time I was considering changing careers to become a therapist, but after researching the aforementioned rigorous training, I wasn’t sure if committing the next 5 years of my life was what I wanted to do.
At the retreat I met a woman who said she had been deciding between hiring a therapist and a coach. Ultimately she decided to go with the coach.
I was curious. Why did she decide to go with a coach over a therapist?
What it came down to, she said, was chemistry. She knew that both the coach and the therapist had the training and abilities to help her with the issue she was bringing. But she jibed with the coach more.
That was a huge a-ha moment for me – I started thinking for the first time that coaching could be a legitimate path to what I really wanted to do, which is to help people.
This was confirmed for me a couple of months later when I was further along on my journey to become a coach. As I was still exploring whether I wanted to become a coach or a therapist, I connected with a therapist who told me that her clients often bring topics that could just as easily be successfully worked out through coaching.
Now fast forward to today, having completed my coach training with Erickson International, and also having experienced being coached myself AND having gone to therapy, I believe I have a clear picture of coaching vs. therapy. The simplest explanation is this:
Coaching tends to look forward while therapy tends to look backward.
Therapy can be hugely helpful for exploring past experiences and understanding how they impact your current behaviors so that you can make changes. Without understanding why you do the things you do, it can be difficult to change some behaviors.
Coaching is more forward-looking in the sense that it’s solutions-focused. It’s about evoking awareness and discovering your resources so that you can achieve the things that you want to achieve. It’s less focused on exploring WHY you do the things you do, and more focused on WHAT you want, WHY that’s important to you and HOW you’re going to get it.
Therapy can include coaching techniques, but coaching shouldn’t include therapy techniques unless your coach is a certified therapist.
Another difference between coaching and therapy is that therapy is often an open-ended relationship. You can continue going to therapy for years with the same therapist, exploring different topics over time. This can be beneficial because your therapist gets to know you and your patterns well, and hopefully understands how best to help you.
On the other hand, coaching is typically definite and well-defined. At the beginning of your coaching relationship, your coach will partner with you to set a clear outcome that you want to come away with after a defined number of sessions. This is a function of the solutions-focused nature of coaching. However, you could also choose to engage with the same coach over time, setting and achieving multiple outcomes.
So, how can you decide between coaching and therapy?
I recommend setting up initial “discovery” conversations with a few different coaches and therapists. Let them know what you’d like to work on. They’ll be able to tell you whether their particular expertise is a good match. And you’ll be able to do a vibe check to see if you like them enough to work with them.
I hope this helps you on your journey of self-discovery.
If you’re interested in setting up an intro call with me, click on the link below!